Final Al-Anon 3/12/10
At 6:45 p.m. upon entering the church I was drawn in the direction of the only lit room. I was here to attend my first Al-Anon meeting. I had no idea what was about to happen. I knew men and women gather together because alcohol has been or is affecting their lives. The members share experiences, look for feedback and they encouage one another.
The weather outside was cold and the building was dark. My idea of what would happen was of a warm and fuzzy group gathering together. But I soon found a room with the temperature cold. There were four people seated around a rectangular table and many empty chairs. The ceiling lights were bright so we could easily see one another. Everyone routinely kept their coat on until the temperature was comfortable. There was an array of pamphlets and literature laid out on the table. I took my seat and observed the four at the table chatting and laughing, just like a family. I expected to have one of them say hello. No one spoke a word to me. There was time to talk because the meeting would not start for another fifteen minutes. I did not let myself become self-conscious, otherwise I would have become uncomfortable.
The group consisted of a couple in their late sixties, a tall, white haired man, very well spoke, carrying himself to appear as the leader and one other lady, well dressed, in her forties talking about how the styles of clothes continues to change with each season.Other members of the group began to stroll in and take a seat. No one removed their coat as they were familiar with the room temperature. I was told by the woman seated next to me that the room would warmup shortly. She was right. The carpeted floor made it necessary to pay close attention when the members spoke.

The room is heating up and and it is 7 p.m. The chairs are filling quickly. Eleven people: three men and eight women. The leader was not who I assumed,a woman said, "hello my name is Mary, welcome to Al-Anon." She states everything said here is confidential. She welcomes any new, first time visitor to the meeting. I introduce myself and hear, "Hello Jane, welcome to Al-Anon." The meeting officially begins by reciting the Serenity Prayer. It reminds me of a mantra because of the tone. They circle the room saying their first name only. The leader introduces the topic of the evening, Step Three. She reads it to the group: "We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him."

A devotional type book is circulated to each member and they find the pages for Step Three. The leader begins by saying her name and then she reads the first message. It draws the listener into the mood of the evening. Each message is an uplifting story of someones life and how surrendering their will to God has helped in the alcohol struggles. It is a commencing point for the reader to comfortably share what is on their mind.

Looking around the room the faces are very somber. Each one is preparing in their mind what they want to share in relationship to Step Three. The ritual is simple, affective and no one speaks in a condescending manner. There is no pressure to speak after you read.

I felt comfortable among the group and no one was judgemental. Alcohol is a serious illness and it affects the lives of at least four other people. It is a serious problem. The members, knowing generally what each one endures, are compassionate and understanding. I wanted to hug each one knowing the past pain I had endured. I sat their appreciative of where I am now and where I had come from. Living with an alcoholic is fearful and every move they make is unpreditable.

The white haired gentleman, who arrived early to the group shared he had been in Al-Anon for twelve years. He said the program has brought him great comfort and that Step Three was a good reminder for him. Each one had a story to share, some uplifting and others it seemed were without hope. A number of times I heard said,"I have a control issue and wish I could fix everything."

At 8 p.m. there are two remaining members who have not spoken. The leader asks if they mind not sharing because of the hour. No one objects. We stand, hold hands and repeat the Serenity Prayer. The compassion expressed for one anothers pain was very real.