Al-Anon is a group of men and women whose lives have been or are being affected by alcohol. The group meets to share experiences and encourage one another.

Upon entering the church at 7 p.m. I went in the direction of the lit room. The room was cold in temperature but I soon was to find out it was warm in spirit. The ceiling lights were bright so we could easily see one another. There were chairs surrounding a rectangle table and four people already seated. There was an array of pamphlets and literature laid out on the table. The four seated were laughing and talking among themselves,just like a family. The group consisted of a couple in their late sixties, a tall white haired man who was very well spoken, carrying himself you would think he was the leader and another lady who was short, in her forties. There was time to chat because the meeting wouldn't start for another fifteen minutes. I sat quietly watching and waiting for someone to speak to me. Other members of the group began to stroll in and take a seat. I was told by the woman seating next to me the room would heat up shortly so everyone kept their coats on. The floor was carpeted so when people began to speak you had to really listen carefully.

By now it is 7 p.m. the chairs are filling up quickly. Eleven people, three men and eight women. The leader introduces herself, "hello my name is Mary". She then states everything said here is confidential and is not to be repeated outside the group. She welcomes any new first time vistors to the meeting. Everyone repeats the Serenity prayer. It reminds me of a mantra. They circle the room saying their first name only. The leader introduces the topic of the night which will be Step 3. She reads it to the group:"We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him." A devotional type book is circulated to each member and they find the page to be read on Step 3. The leader begins by saying my name is Mary and she reads the first message. Each message is a story of someones life and how surrendering their will to God has helped in their struggles. It is a commencing point, a way in which you can share your own story. Looking around the room the faces are very somber. Each one is preparing in their mind what they want to share when it is their turn. The ritual displayed includes giving your first name and reading the next message. I count ahead to read and prepare for my turn. There is no pressure to share but you are free to if you wish.

The white haired gentleman, who arrived early shared he had been in Al-Anon for twelve years. After he read his message and began to share with the group it was obvious to me that he was weary. He had been living with someone for many years who was an alcoholic and the program has brought him great strength. It was a pleasant reminder reading Step 3 that he could not carry the burden alone.

Step 3: "Make a decison to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him."

As we circle the table and each one reads their message it is evident to me there is a lot of thought going into what each one says. The atmosphere is serious and personal. The hope for each member of the group is acknowledged. They realize on their own they can not survive. A greater power than themselves is at work.

The older man took his turn to read and has a coughing fit. His wife takes over and reads the remainder of the message. She shares how she and her husband are burdened with their grown daughters alcohol problems. It is such a heartache to this couple knowing that at any moment the phone could ring with gruesome news. She admits to having a control issue and is not able to fix everything. It is hard to watch someone you love see their life slipping away because of alcohol. You are helpless to do anything. I listen to the stories and sense a feeling of helplessness.

Next, the man beside me shares his story. His eighteen year old son is drinking to excess. His life is meaningless. He is no longer a minor and the father has no say in his activities. He also takes medication for a personality disorder and the father is worried for his safety.

All the stories shared have the same dispearing undertone or theme. The family members all feel powerless to help their loved ones. Step 3 emphasizes to turn your cares over to God or your higher power.

At 8 p.m. there are two remaining people at the table who have not read or shared anything. The leader asks if they mind no sharing because of the hour. No on objects. We stand, hold hands and repeat the Serenity Prayer in unison. The hour has flown. Everyone thanks me for coming, encourages me to return and to also visit other sites. The leader tells me to attend at least six meetings before I make a decision to join. Memories taken from my first Al-Anon meeting are of comfort and solace. The understanding expressed for one anothers pain was amazing.